


Sally ~ Wilbur Soot Angst

by chill3ss



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Writing, Blood and Gore, Gen, Gore, Heavy Angst, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:47:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 21,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29763990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chill3ss/pseuds/chill3ss
Summary: Wilbur can't bring himself to fell Fundy. He just simply can't tell his son that his own mother hurt him so badly. So.. he lied.. and lied.. and lied.**Cross posted with Wattpad and Inkett under the same user 'chill3ss'**
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

Before we start!

Here are the triggers that will be through the entire book:

Heavy gore  
Mental/physical abuse  
ED  
vivid descriptions on mental illness  
profanity  
sexual abuse  
Toxic/abusive relationship  
A child experiencing their parents fighting  
______

Please do NOT repost any of my writing!

Please note that this is probably gonna be bad, don't expect any good out of this. 

Uploading schedule? Whenever I get motivated, which is usually 1 chapter every 3 days, 1 a week, or 1 chapter every 3 weeks.  
I'm a person, meaning I have a personal life as well as you. If for some reason I don't upload a chapter dont worry, I'll make one soon enough. And no I don't post a/n's every update is a readable chapter. If for some magical reason I upload an a/n something important and in your best interest to read it. 

Also I don't think there are gonna be any ships, only if you persuade me. There might be a wilbur x someone that's not Sally idk though. If there magically is it's not going to revolve around the ship, might be mentioned a few times but not a lot. 

I had this in the description but took it out, im going to follow the Dream smp lore. Not that much though cause they change so many things in just one stream, so it would be absolut hell if I tried to keep up. Cool? Cool.

I just noticed this and found it important to address, chapters 1-6 are "get to know wilbur" chapters.

They don't connect well, they are there so you can get to know my fucked up version of wilbur. Chapters 7+ are correlated and flow with the story. 

We got that? Okay :)

When I first started this book I didn't really take into consideration that age is probably important. Yeah dumb ik so.. the ages of people get really confusing. I dont know, I didn't really take time to figure that part out, if you have any questions feel free to ask. 

With all that being said, have a fun time reading! I hope you like it here!


	2. ~One~

"Happy birthday day to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear wilbur happy birthday to you! Ayyy!" 

I smiled as I blew out 17 candles on a vanilla cake, it was frosted with yellow frosting and smelled like lemons. I laughed as everyone asked me what I wished for. 

"Tommy I can't tell you, then it won't come true" he scoffed and tubbo tried to get me to talk. Glancing over to Techno and Phil they just smiled at me and Phil pointed to the four presents on the wood table. 

"Fine fine, I wished for you all to be happy!" I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Oh that's bullshit man what did you wish for?" The dyslexic asked me, "you guys are annoying" Walking over to the other side of the dinner table I grabbed a small box wrapped in.. well wrapping paper. 

It was small, about the size of my hand. I shook it slightly to hear what was inside, 3 objects. They sounded like 3 objects. "Come on already and open it" Techno complaints, so I didn't waste more time in ripping the box open. It was quite easy and I saw what was inside. I beamed with happiness as I saw 4 different colored guitar picks.  
"Thank you!" 

Tubbo smiled at me and mumbled a happy 'no problem'. I went on with Technoblades gift, it was incased in a dark blue wrapping paper. It was pretty big, and felt like it was in a wooden box of sorts. Again, wasting no time I ripped the wrapping paper and saw a wooden box. I had to flip it over to see that the top had a glass cover and inside was a 8-9 inch pocket knife. The knife part was white, while the sharp end was a soft yellow color and the handle was black. "It reminded me of you so I got it"

I could tell he wanted to roll his eyes at me, it's in character for him to not show emotions. But I knew he was happy that I liked it so much. I went on with Tommy's gift. 

—————

I check my phone for the time, 6:45 pm. We finished celebrating my birthday and I had left to go sit at the docs, sitting down with my boots off. I take in the scenery. The clouds over lapped each other, the sun slowly getting lost behind the blue sea. The sky was turning from a purple orange color to a dark blue as the night draped over. 

I like to remember the good thoughts. It didn't matter when it happened, it could have been 30 seconds ago and I would hold on to the memory like my life depend on it. Just so I could smile, so I could feel joy without remembering the bad.

Bringing my gaze down the the sea, swaying my feet back and forth slowly. I noticed a small family of salmon.

There were two adult salmon and two smaller salmon that I could only assume were babies. Or their kids. It was so memorizing, seeing life take a different form. Any type of life could be happy. Why wasn't I? Its not that hard, I just have to smile. Make everyone be fooled and trick them with laughter. Maybe if I did that long enough would start to believe it too, I could trick myself into thinking im enjoying life. 

I didn't notice one of the adult salmon missing from the group, nor did I care. I'd rather not waste my energy on thoughts that didn't matter, that was a lie. 

I didn't notice a person sit next to me, nor did I care. That was a lie. I did care, its not that bad to care about things. I glaced over to them, they had light pink hair that stopped right before hitting their elbow. Their nose was a button nose. How cute. They were wearing a dress, it was a green murky color. It matched nicely with their hair. 

"Hi I'm sally!" They smiled at me, reaching their had towards me wanting a handshake. "Wilbur" giving them a half smile. "Why are you sitting here all alone, it's sad." They look away to stare at the moon. "I'm just thinking, you?" 

"I just wanted to make you smile, you seemed like you needed it." 

"Thanks" I giggled. We talked for hours. We laughed, we joked around and chased each other around. It was fun. I finally felt pleased with life. It felt like I took life by the neck and said fuck you. But obviously that had to end, everything does at one point.

—————

Slowly closing the front door tried to not make any sound, I hate making noise. It didn't really matter that much because Phil was on the couch watching whatever was on the TV. 

"Hey wil" Phil spoke. "Hey" I waved at him with a hit of joyfulness in my tone. "Whats got you in a good mood?" He turned to face me as I entered the kitchen looking for cold water. "I uh, I met someone" I could feel him smile.

I'm not the most social person, even if i wanted to be. I'm just not good at it. Talking isn't my strong suit. So I was kind of news when I came home and made a friend. "Proud of you bud, what's their name" he hushed trying not to make noise. It was 4:20 am after all. Tommy was probably asleep and Techno, well hes Techno. 

"Her names sally, she's so pretty. And- fuck" Phil smirked, hes the father of 3 sons. He knows when one of his sons crushing like the back his hand. "Phil, Phil am I..?" He just put his hands up in defense as choose not to say anything. He grabbed the remote and turned took the volume off mute and just stayed with a smiling expression. He knew. I knew. Damnit this can't be happening to me. 

I didn't want to admit it, and in all honesty. I probably shouldn't have asked for her number. I most likely shouldn't have even said my name when she asked. But I did, and that was my one mistake. 

I wished to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	3. ~Two~

I was sitting at my desk, just sitting. I wasn't planning on doing anything special, I'm not in the mood for scrolling on my phone for hours. Or playing some dumb game on my computer. I wanted to do something with Sally.

No not in that way.

I want to run around and hold hands like if we were teenagers again, I want to lay in a field and be engulfed in pollin. Even if I may be allergic, the flower field reminded me of her. I want to text her.. how do I text her?

"Phil!" I called from my room, knowing damn well he's not going to get up and walk to my room. Sighing I get up from my desk and walk to him. He was cooking in the kitchen.

"Phil I need help" "Good morning to you too" "phillll" 

Its not even morning, its 12:31 pm...

How do I express emotions? Without hurting myself a little bit inside, I made a promise to myself. 'No matter what, emotions don't matter' well now they do. Talking about my feeling made me tear up, even if it's not emotional. Hell I could be talking about how much I love pizza and I'd tear up.

That's just what suppressing feelings does to yo- "Wilbur!".. thats my name.

"Oh yeah?" I asked, it took me a second to register that I had to respond. "What do you need help with?" He looked up at me from washing the dishes. "How do I.. how do I text her?" "Her?" He raised his eyebrows, "Sally! You know who I'm talking about!" He just laughed at me. 

I could tell he was finding words to say so he could help with my dilemma. I shouldn't have asked, im being annoying. I should have just stayed in my room. "Well.. you should ask her how she is. How's her day been or if she's not busy, don't be to demanding though." Him suddenly speaking snapped me out of my trance. 

"Can you type that for me?" "No wilbur, I know its hard but just try and see what happens " 

I mumbled an 'okay' and walk slowly back into my room. In all honesty I had no rush to head back into my room and ask her how she was. He told me the words, now I just have to write them. I know what I have to say. Just say it.. Hell no I can't do this.

Sighing I put my hand on my head. This is the worst part of socializing, well one of the first parts. Why do I have to be the one to start the interaction?

Flipping my phone over and putting in the password, I eventually open the messaging app and hover my finger over her contact name. 'Sally :)' I wasn't one of those weird people to put four emojis next to a person's name, so I simply put a smiley face. 'Cause she makes my stomach feel smiley. 

'Hey how are you!' No thats too demanding 

'Hey' no it sounds like I'm mad

'Whats up sally' ew no

'Are you free?' Free from what? Dumbass

'Hello do you feel like going out with me' that's just- no

'Heyyy' what is wrong with me

'Hello! Are you up to do anything today?' No what am I? An English teacher?

This cycle was repetitive, type and delete. Over and over again. I kept on over thinking my words, some sentences were to long and some to short. Some sounded like I was yelling while others sounded like I was shy.

It was all to overwhelming, the talking, the feelings, everything. I just couldn't do it. Feeling tears prick my eyes I turn off my phone and set it down infront of me.

I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't 

Those words chanted in my head as if it were protesting something. I wanted to so badly, to say hello and talk with her. I don't even know if she wants to talk to me.. maybe she doesn't. Oh god am I creep? Is this creepy? 

Glancing back to my phone, thats when I broke. I slammed my arms on the desk and rested my head on them. 

I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't

Let me say hello to her please, I want to be able to say hello to her. I want to hold her face and kiss her forehead. I want to sit next to her and fall asleep next to each other on the couch. 

I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't 

A broken sob escapes my lips as I shut my eyes close. My hands go to my head as I grasp onto my hair and yank it away from my head. 

I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't 

Tears roll of my cheeks onto my sweater, as short quite sobs become the only sound I can say. She sends me a text.. 

maybe I can.

My eyes shoot to my phone as the ding goes off and I see my phone flash on.. 'Sally :)' sent one message.. 

maybe I can. 

'Hey wil! Want to hang out today :)'  
1:56 pm

'Sure 🙃'  
1:57pm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	4. ~Three~

How does 3:30 sound :)'  
1:57pm

Will Phil let me, well.. im almost an adult so I can go if I want to. That sounds like something a brat would say, of course I have to ask. Hes technically my dad.

What would we even do? How do I talk? What do I wear? Do I smell good? 

'Wil?'  
2:07pm

Oh shit.

'Oh yeah sorry 😅 3:30 sounds fine!'  
2:08pm

'See you there <3'  
2:08pm

That.. that was a friendly heart right? I'll ask Phil later. 

Now I had to worry on what I'd wear, im sure we are just going to hang out so nothing too formal. I have to smell good, I don't want to smell like sweat. 

Its 2:15pm.. I have time to take a shower and get dressed. 

I look around my room, it was filthy. Rubbish was everywhere, dirty dishes that I'm to lazy to go and wash in the sink. Scrap paper liters my desk, my trash bin overflowing with trash. I should take that out..

A small mountain of clothes forming in part of my room, my bed unmade, pairs of shoes layed far apart from each other. 

Woah my room is a mess.

What if she wants to come over? She'll be so disappointed, she won't like me anymore. 

Focus, focus on one thing at a time. Shower, clothes, then room.. I think.

I got up and grabbed my yellow towel and made my way to the bathroom. I had to pass the hallway to the kitchen, I prayed to the lord I don't believe in that phil wasn't there.

He wasn't.

So i dropped my shoulders, I didn't even know they were so tense. And continued to walk to the bathroom. As I was talking, right as I was about to reach for the door handle. The floorboard creaked. My body cringed as my toes curled and my hand reaching for the door handle frooze.

I absolutely despised making noise. My heart started to speed up, and my hands started to become sweaty. 

I can't move my foot.

If I move my foot it will make noise.

I can't move my foot.

I took a long breath and rubbed my wrist.

I can't move my foot.

I shut my eyes as I noticed the world was completely silent. I can't move my foot because then it will disrupt the silence, I will be making too much noise. My toes moved slightly and my eyes started to dart around my surroundings.

Someone could be watching me, they might think im weird for just standing here. They could be taking a video or a photo of me. Or they could just be staring. From where though? Am I even alone in this room right now? 

The air conditioning turned on making me flinch. Enough to make me move my frozen foot. The floorboard creaked again and nothing happened. The world kept spinning, the air conditioning kept going, the imaginary person looking at me kept on going with the their day. 

I was okay.. nothing happened..

I looked around one last time, no one was there, no one was watching. I can move my foot. Its not frozen. I'm okay.

Sighing I walk into the bathroom and close the door behind me. Not forgetting to lock it. Turning on the shower to a warm/hotish temperature I let myself be embraced by the warm water and I closed my eyes. It's all fine.

————

Walking into my room, I head straight for my closest.

Its 2:47pm

I have enough time to get dressed, smell good, and get here on time.. where are we meeting up?

Why didn't I ask this, I should have asked. Now I have to ask. Taking a deep breath I decide its time to focus on putting together a decent outfit. Maybe I can wear the yellow sweater, no I wore it last time. This white sweater looks good.. but I dont feel like wearing it. Maybe a t-shirt? I'm not in the mood. Fuck this is hard. I have to look good for her. 

A black sweater and– sigh. I can wear this white polo shirt with a black jacket.. its not that cold outside. God why is this so difficult. 

I decided with a navy blue sweatshirt and black pants. I say I look pretty fine right now, now I just need to smell good. I never really wore any type of cologne, it overwhelmed me most the ime. So I just decided to put on some deodorant and a small puff of this honey perfume tubbo got me a while back. I didn't put it on my neck, I put it on my wrist and a little bit on the bottom of my sweater. 

Turing on my phone I didn't notice the text Sally had sent me, it was the place where we we're going to meet up. "Shit I have to go" I mumbled taking my wallet and stuffing it into my black pants, I noticed Phil was on the couch with Tommy. 

"H-heyy" I managed to squeak out as I stopped dead in my tracks. They we're starting at me, 4 eyes directly into my soul. It was uncomfortable. Sometimes I wished people wouldn't stare and just keep their eyes to themselves, but that's not possible. 

"Where are you going?" Phil questioned nicely, he didn't sound made which made me less nervous. "I'm uh.. going to go hang out with Sally" I could hear my heartbeat quicken as sweat starts so form on my forehead. Slightly start to tap my foot on the ground as I try to make the sound of my shoes banging on the floor quite. It wasn't that loud anyways.

"Cool" was all that came out his mouth as he turned back to the TV and tommy just snuggled back into Phil. I guess it was one of those days for him too.

————

I was sitting on the bench as my knee was bouncing up and down. I was extremely nervous, so many bad things could happen. What if she realizes im not worth seeing?

I ask too many questions.

She's two minutes late. Maybe she doesn't like me, I mean this isn't a date after all.. just two friends hanging out..

I was sitting on a bench in front of a small ice cream place, the weather started to drop making me re think my decision of wearing that black jacket. People we're walking around just living life, they seemed so happy. Everything felt so surreal in the moment, everything felt so weird. 

A huge rock could be flying down on me and I wouldn't know. Something bad could be happening, I could've stopped it. 

It was 3:35 and she still wasn't here. The wind picked up and I could feel my nose start to turn pink. Birds flew high as children ran around playing on the park not too far away. Being outside had this sent, different from being trapped inside. It smelled good, but not good good.

You know?

I knew I was inhaling so much pollution yet it smelt fresh.. weird

I was pulled out of my meaningless thoughts as a light finger tapped my shoulder, "hey wil!" 

She looked absolutely stunning, it felt like the whole world stopped as she smiled. She smelt amazing, I couldn't describe it. Her hair followed the wind, it was wavy and long. It seemed like all the light was reflecting off her as she smiled.

"Hey Sally how are you?" She sat down next to me and I scooted over to give her room and face her. I could listen to her talk for hours. Her voice was soft and smooth, nothing like I've ever heard before. 

We talked for hours, it was fun. That was an understatement. Everytime she laughed it was like a lullaby, it was music. We told stories, we sang, we dance, I could finally say I was happy.

My wish came true.

The candles worked.

I was happy.

But everything has a due date, everything ends. Nothing is permanent. If only I relized sooner, if only someone could slap me in the face and wake me up. It was like a dream, I had to wake up sometime and realize that my happiness was a dream.

I loved her, she loved me.

What went wrong? Was it me? 

Please tell me I'll fix it. I want to be happy again, I want my Sally back. I want to hear her laugh and tell jokes again. I want to kiss her forehead and sing together. I want to lay in the field filled with pollin again and not have to worry about life.

My wish came true.. but only temporarily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	5. ~Four~

Light lilluminated the kitchen as I turned off the stove, I just finished cooking dinner for both Fundy and Sally. 

I made pasta with some cooked stake for Sally. Since Fundy didn't like pasta I made him some mashed potatoes and chicken. Pretty decent if you ask me, nothing special was going on.

I put aside the plates of food and wash all the dishes clean, and started on getting them something to drink. I got them both sweet tea and relaxed. I had finished what I needed to do, I can breath now.

I'm proud of myself, it took me a lot to just get the stove on let alone cook for both Sally and Fundy.

Speaking of Fundy, he should be getting home soon. He mentioned going to someone named.. Grayson? He was going to hangout with him after school. I don't want him to miss dinner again so I should probably call him.

————

I rested my hands on my head, it's 6:30 pm. I have no clue what Sally was off to doing but it wasn't my problem, I learned that the hard way. 

I heard a car pull up to the drive way.

Tensing up I quickly put Sallys and Fundys dish on the table and set down utensils nicely. She wouldn't appreciate it but at least it wasn't a mess. Keys jingle against the door know as the door opens, I see Sallys face. I hope she's in a good mood.

"Phone." She set her hand out for me to get up and give it to her, I didn't waste time handing it to her and sitting back down infront of her spot on the table. "Good.. why did you text Fundy?" I gulped down saliva that was trapping my voice, my hands started to shake slightly. "Come on I don't have all day!" The pink hair woman raised her voice which made me flinch. 

"I told him to come h-home soon so he could eat dinner" my voice shook as she examined my phone one last time and left it on the counter.

She gracefully say down and picked up her fork, "shouldn't we wait for fund-" she cut me off before I could finish, "Silence." She told me sternly.

That was all I needed to hear to shut my mouth and sit quietly. 

I watched her face, it turned from a mostly emotionless expression to pure disgusted face. I opened my mouth to ask but i decided against it. 

She looked at me with mad eyes, "you know I don't like onions, so what the fuck is this?!" Sally scolded me for being so dumb, it felt like my mouth was stitched close. I couldn't speak. "ANSWER ME WHORE!" she slammed her fists down onto the wooden table making her fork clatter along with her glass of sweet tea. I flinched violently as my eyes we're brought up to her face. 

"On-onions ma'am" my voice barely came out a whisper. 

She scoffed and looked to the side, I had forgotten to take the onions out. I add them in so they could add flavor but I missed the step of taking them out the food afterwards.

She got up and threw the onions infront of me on the table, some of them landed on my shirt. She morphed her hand into a claw, raising it over my head. I didn't have enough time to think, all I didn't was raise my arms over my head to protect myself while closing my eyes to. I felt nothing at first, I felt the impact but I didn't feel the pain. Soon enough I noticed blood driving down my cheek onto my favorite shirt.

She had slapped me, she shapshifted her hand to have black shirt claws. 

Nothing new.

I saw her walk away from me but not forgetting to mutter a few words to me, "Do better." That rang through my head, do better. I could have done better. It was my fault, I made her angry. She didn't eat because of my mistakes.

I'm a failure.

Tears threatened my eyes as I looked down, I can't cry, I'll make to much noise. She'll be even more upset with me. 

I need to clean everything up so Fundy can come home and eat on a nice dinner table, I don't want him to worry about the things his mother did to me. 

I covered so many things up, I've gotten kind of good at it. He doesn't need to be worrying about what happens between me and her. Hes 14, he wouldn't know better. If anything Sally would trick him into thinking im in the blame. Sighing I got up shakily to clean up the dinner table and to get myself looking presentable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	6. ~Five~

I can't do this right now.

I had just stood up for myself. I finally did it, I made my thoughts clear. But it didn't work.

"Why can't I have some fucking privacy?! If you are able to go through my phone then I should be able to do the same with yours! I've done nothing, absolutely nothing to make you go through my shit!" 

She was furious, anger radiated from her as she stood taller than me. Everytime she got close to me I'd blink away thinking she was going to hit me. I don't want to be fighting, it's 11:25 pm and im tired. Tired of this bullshit, tired of living. Everything is so exhausting.

"Do not raise your voice at me." It was cold, yet harsh. She stared at me with hate in her eyes, I was trying to compose myself so I wouldn't fuck up. 

"You disappoint me so much, I was just checking your phone. But you had to yell at me" the words coming out her mouth we're laced with sadness, and manipulation.

"You had no reason to do so-"

Her hand was balled up into a fist, she raised it slightly over my head as she went to hit me. I used my forearm as a shield of sorts but that made her madder, it was terrifying. 

My breath quickened, I felt a punch go towards my body. My eyes blurred while she spewed hurtful comments. They clouded my head as I fell to the ground, I shouldn't have said anything. I should have just kept my mouth shut.

I heard her stomp away to her room, her voice echoed through my head as pain arose through my body. Everything hurt, it hurt to move, to breath. 

I curled myself into a tight ball knowing I'd be safe like that, I rocked back and forth repeatedly trying to take my mind off things. 

I just wanted to float away and not have to worry about problems. I just wanted privacy. Surely it wasn't to much to ask for. 

My head was in my head, I scratched my scalp trying to find a distraction. It may have hurt a bit but it kind of worked. Salty tears ran down my face as a low, broken sob left me. I needed to let everything out. But how?

————

I got up with shaky legs, I was still recovering from whatever just happened there. 

My breathing was back to normal but I was still on high alert. 

(Holy shit its hard to get at least 950 words)

Fundy can't see me like this, I have to go pick him up later. I was holding myself up with the support of the table, I was tired. Panic attacked tire the hell out of me.

I started to step towards the bathroom, I was going to make myself look decent to go pick my son up from school. I wasn't too beat up this time, a bruise was sure to form on my face again but no blood.

Slightly touching the purple and green blob forming on my face I cringed, it was becoming noticeable. Sighing I grabbed some concealer form the second cabinet drawer in the bathroom. Not forgetting to grab the thing to apply the concealer. It wasn't that hard I just had to blend it a bit and I was good to go. Doing just exactly that it looked unnoticeable, but the prosses of doing that hurt a shit ton.

Fixing my hair and sweater I looked at myself in the mirror.

I look dead.

I'm so pale and boney, my lips beyond dry. Is this how other people saw me, maybe I wasn't boney. Maybe I was just fat.

I poked my sides repeatedly, everytime I bent I had rolls. I found the problem, it was me. Sally was right, she was right I shouldn't be eating that much. Sighing, I rolled up my sweater to expose my stomach to the cold air.

I had a small bump, of fat.

That shouldn't be there, that was the problem. People saw me as ugly because of that. To my eyes all I saw was fat, and ugliness. But if you asked anyone with vision they'd say I needed to eat, a lot. I didn't see that though. I saw far from that.

I found the source of the problem, all I had to do now was fix it. All I had to do was follow Sally's advice and I'd be fixed. Maybe then I'd look good enough.

Beep bedp bee—

A rign was cut off from my phone as I pushed 'dismissed' that was my alarm to go pick up Fundy from school. I looked down the the shirt I threw on the floor, it had blood on it. I'll have to take care of that later.

So I went to go throw the shirt in my dirty laundry bin, and headed off to go pick up my son from school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	7. ~Six~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filter chapter

My eyes wandered over to the clock admitting red light.. 4:34 am.

This is painful, like slow torturing I'm doing to myself. Non the less I had to move on with life, kind of wish it was that god damn simple. I just want to close my eyes.

Please let me close my eyes and sleep in peace.

I just want my mind to float away in a void of black while a sleep, I don't care if I remember dreams or not. I just want my mind at rest. Weather I force it of not. 

Turning in my covers for the 5th time in 3 minutes, I sigh. I do that a lot now thinking about it. My body facing upwards, with half my leg in the sheets and the other half exposed to the cold dead room. I open my eyes again, just to stare at the ceiling. 

Maybe there something I could do to make me fall asleep..

But what?  
And how would I even get it? 

My mind drifts off onto other thoughts, my head kind of works like the ocean and a piece of wood in a storm. The piece of wood never stops moving, sometimes it floats on the top safe from the deep ocean below. Then sometimes the waves crash on top and force the wood to go under, most of the time unwillingly. 

The piece of wood never stops rotating and moving, making it almost impossible to get a break. Then there are moments, moments of complete silence under the ocean. To reach that one moment the wood has to reach the lowest part of the raging ocean. So far down that no more noise and movement is found. Then the wood just floats, but eventually it has to come back up to the surface. 

That moment of complete silence is a nightmare and a dream. I want complete silence, but its also scary. All the loud banging thoughs in your head just stop, and it's terrifying. 

It's usually so dark down there, I would describe it as it being static. But that doesn't make sense considering that its supposed to me quite down there. I suppose nothing is really silent.

Looking back to the clock, I read the bright red numbers. 5:09am..

Time feels like it doesn't exist, maybe it doesn't. Time goes way to quick and way to slow. Yet it feels like time skips over days, or even months. Even if I tried I couldn't keep up with time. 

I finally had enough with not being able to sleep and get up, a little to quickly. So I just sat at the edge of my bed contemplating life. What was i even going to do if I got up? Sally is sleeping and so if Fundy. We all have our own rooms so I could just hang out in here.

I glance over to my guitar, I shouldn't. Its late and I'm sure I'll wake up Sally.. don't want that happening. Letting lose of my head I just sit there in an awkwardly comfortable yet uncomfortable position. Shutting my eyes again I take in all the sounds around me, the air conditioning working just fine. The cars outside casually going by every so often. The slow wind outside the window.

This is real life, it's so strange.

Again, for the third time I look to my clock. I feel anger towards it. That thing is keeping me hostage in this stupid time bubble. It can't possibly be 6 am. 

No way.

Why can't it just go away, I don't want to look at it anymore. I don't want to depend on it, I just want to fucking throw it across my room. And watch as all the pieces that once made up that, that monstrosity shatter everywhere. 

I want all the small and large fragments of the clock to fly everywhere. I want to look down on it and see what I've done.

But I can't, I simply can't. 

I'm trapped here, with a piece of floating wood and a clock that holds me hostage.

Its eternal with no way out. I want a way out.

I'll make my own damn tunnel, I will spend hours reaching for the sense of relief. For that one moment. 'Cause the static noise still haunts me. 

Yet I still have to get out of bed, and make breakfast for my child. Who deserves nothing but an amazing life away from the pink hair monster. And a woman who has done nothing but torment me and make me believe that I am worth nothing. 

That I contribute nothing to this world I walk on.

Yet, I have to clean the house, look over my sons homework, and cook dinner. For my family, a family that I didn't ask for. But I'm here, I didn't ask to have a son. Yet I still provide for him, feed him, give him attention, and give him the best life I can.

But there's this barricade stopping me from being happy, and it's her. I'm aware, but I can't escape. I've tried. 

She is the reason I want to drown myself in the fucking ocean.

She is the reason why I look at myself and see ugliness.

She is the reason I cover up in makeup.

She is the soul reason why I have to convince myself that everything is going to be okay. 

Because the only way to get away with a lie is to believe it yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	8. ~Seven~

Fundy, Sally, and I all got in the car to go out for dinner. 

We decided to celebrate Fundy getting a 100 on his science project, and honestly he deserved it. I could tell he put so much work into the project, he doesn't even like science. So it was a great accomplishment.

Fundy sat in the back middle seat, on his phone. It didn't bother me per say but I seemed to bother Sally, she never said anything about it though. 

Sally had her eyes fixated on the road ahead of us, it ticked me off how everyone was so quite. 

The only noise that could be heard were the cars passing by.

She sighed, "when are we going to get there?!" I jumped at the sudden words being yelled at me "uh I think a few minutes" 

She seemed to be satisfied with that answer, or it could just be that our son was in the back seat. 

It made me nervous, i don't know why. Everything was to quiet for its own good. This drive to the restaurant Fundy liked make me nervous. Something was up. 

I just tapped my finger on the steering wheel three times. A small pause between each one.  
. . .

My eyes wandered over to Sally, she was dressed nicely. If only she wasn't such a bitch, maybe my life would have turned out better.

————

We had just finished ordering food, Sally got the most expensive thing on the menu while Fundy just got a cheese burger. We kind of just talk like a normal family.. key word kind of.

Everything I said something she didn't like she kicked me from under the tabel, somehow the pink haired woman made it unnoticeable. Like if she we're saying, "if someone notices its your fault"

She kicked relatively in the same area, a tactic she liked to use. So it would hurt more. I had to power through it. 

Eventually the waitress came over with our food, I had gotten a chicken salad.

It wasn't my choice, Sally had told me the I needed to lose weight. She was right after all, so I'm just following her advice. 

Everyone started to silently eat, my mind taking in all the noises surrounding me. Utensils clattered against the plates, children laughing, parents talking, the kitchen busy at work. It was overwhelming.

The light over our heads bothered me, it was painfully bright. But at the same time.. no one was bothered by it expect for me. Everyone seemed to be fine. I'm just over exaggerating, if only the light didn't hurt me everytime I looked up. 

I tapped my fork against my plate four times at a steady pace.  
. . . . 

As I slightly stare into Sallys soul, something about her. She made me want to love her, but I knew it was wrong. I wanted to make her feel what I felt, everytime she called me horrible names. Everytime she beat me, everytime she made me feel like I was nothing. Everytime she locked me in that small room, I wanted to make her feel what I felt. 

My eye twitches.

I grip my fork tightly making my knuckles turn white.

"..ad? Dad!" 

Fundy called out, he made me snap out my trance. "Oh yeah sorry?" I apologize, "you haven't you're food.. aren't you hungryyy" he asks me with intent.

"Yeah, just had a lot on my mind kiddo.. I'll eat dont worry" I smile towards him, he shouldn't have to worry about my problems. He's just a kid. No one should have to worry. 

In the corner of my eye I see him turn back to his food, Sally already done with hers she just sits and observes me.

After I take about 5 bites of salad, she kicks me. That meant I ate too much.

I put down my fork and wipe my mouth, I faked being full.. I'm still hungry, I'm beyond hungry at this point. My body was yelling at me to continue eating, and I almost gave in. 

Almost.

I tapped my foot once against the floor.  
.

My hands felt heavy, my armpits started to sweat. I could hear my heart rate increase as Sally stared at me, she was giving me an intense death glare. I didn't like it.

I wish she could just stop staring at me.

I shifted awkwardly trying to make it known that I want her to. Stop. Staring. I made me so uncomfortable.

Stop staring 

My breath became hazy and shallow. 

Stop staring

My knee started to bounce up and down.

Stop staring

I started to play with my fingers.

Stop staring

My long nails began to scratch my forearm slightly.

Stop starin–

"Is everything okay? Need any refills?" The waitress asked politely with a small smile.

"No everythings all good! Can I please have the check?" 

"Of course!"

She forced a smile, I knew she didn't want to serve people and talk to them constantly. But she did, she had to make a living some how. 

She handed me the piece of paper, I mental cringe at the texture. 

$157.43

She walks off but doesn't forget to tell me to take my time paying, so I go to grab my wallet. So does Sally.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry hun I forgot my wallet at home.." she stares into my soul, she wants me to tell her it's fine. That ill pay for it. 

"Its okay" the words waver out my mouth, I put the money down next to the black booklet that she left on the table. 

"Alright then let's head home!" She gets up and puts an arm around Fundy and looks back at me with hate. 

We slowly made out way to the car, driving back home to the cage im forced to live in.

————

Closing the door being me, I sigh.

Back here again.

Fundy went off to go do Fundy things in his room while Sally plopped down on the couch.

"What the fuck was that?" She hisses at me, "what- what was what?" I question, I really have no idea what she meant.

"I work so hard, so god damn hard for you and Fundy.. yet you still make it so difficult." 

"I'm sorry.. im confused–" 

"Of course you're confused! You never understand do you, look at yourself. So fucking discussing.." she grabbed my arm and yanked me over to the bathroom.

She made me stand infront of the mirror, forcing me to look at myself.

"I don't even know why I try anymore, so fat and ugly. The salad you ate could have been for someone who deserves it." 

I started to look away, I didn't want to keep staring at myself. The worst thing is that I agree.

"I only want whats best for you dear.. it will only hurt you more in the long run."

"Come on now, follow me."

So like an absolute fool, like a puppet I followed her. I obeyed her orders and just followed mindlessly behind her. 

Tears stained my pale cheeks. I wanted to sob loudly, but that would probably get me in a lot more trouble than I already was in. 

She stopped infront of a small door and turned around, I knew exactly what this room was meant for.

I knew.

She opened the door to reveal a small room, big enough for only me. The only thing I could do in there was sit down, I couldn't lay down without four walls in the way. It only had a small light, it only light up a corner of the room. 

She gestured for me to walk in, and I did. There was nothing else for me to do then just go inside.

With that I heard a slam of the door and a small noise of a lock turning. 

This room had a different temperature then the rest of the rooms, it was cold. A little too cold. Then sometimes it was so humid inside it hurt to breath.

I hung my head low in the small room for quite some time, it was only now that I bring myself too look up.

There was a full body length mirror infront of me, it had small outlines of my blood when I bashed my head into it.

For some reason it never broke, no matter how many kicks and punches I gave to that damn thing it never broke. It looked so fragile yet it was so strong. Looking around you could see many writings on the walls, since the walls were painted black she forced me to write painful things on the walls with white.

"Fat"

"Ugly"

"Worhless"

"I am nothing"

"waste of space"

"I could be better"

So much more lined the walls with statements I was forced to write.

I re read those saying everytime I was in this damn room, and I believed every sing last word. 

I slowly dragged my knees to my chest as I lay my head on my boney knees. 

Letting out a painful sob, I knew no one would hear me here. This entire room was sound proofed she took her time and made sure my suffering would never be seen.

Convenient am I right?

So nothing stopped me from screaming my lungs out until I had no more breath, absolutely nothing. 

So I cried like no tomorrow, I screamed like I was being murdered. It felt good.

I need the scream.

I'm nails clawed at my throat trying to get myself to breath normally, I was panicking. I want to get out of here, I want to be free.

I've learned my lesson.

"I'm– im sorry.. IM SORRY OKAY??" I yelled at the door, banging and scratching it.

"IM SORRY PLEASE LET ME OUT"

"IM SORRY" 

"IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY" 

"IM.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry" 

My nails digged into my palms as I sung to the floor again.

The floor was cold and hard, kneeling on it would hurt your knees pretty fast. But I didn't care, I didn't care about the pain. I just wanted out.

My head rested on the unbreakable mirror as my arms wrapped around my torso. Blood dripped from my hands onto my stained shirt the blood slowly making its way to the floor. 

"I– I'm so so so- sorry" 

Was the last thing I said as I just let out broken sobs, the only thing that could be heard besides my obnoxious cries we're the slow drips of blood as time passed by. And I finally let go of myself, falling into the void of sleep for the first time in forever. 

The piece of wood finally stopped moving. Everything was perfect and peaceful. 

Drip

Drip

Drip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	9. ~Eight~

The door flung open.

My body bashed onto the cold wood floor as a woman stood above me. She woke me up.. I was at peace..

She kneeled down to me, my eyes slowly looking up at her. I began to get up but she used her hand to forceful push me back down onto the brown floor.

"Learned your lesson yet?" She ticked her head to the side.

"Y–yes.. please don't put me back in there I'm sorry" I begged, my voice rasped the back of my throat. I desperately needed water.

Her eyes disapproved of me.

She grabbed a fist full of my hair and yanked me up, forcing my body to sit up. It hurt. But what else was expected?

"What did we learn?" Her voice rang through the dark hallway, she pulled my head back so I was forced to look at her in her eyes.

"I– um.. I need to listen to you, you- you are alsways right.." I mumbled, I almost said it as a question. Stumbling over my words, tears pricked my eyes. I'm so hungry, I want to eat. So so badly but I'm not allowed too.

"Good" she let go of my head and got up. Again she stood over me and looked down on me, this was her way of telling me she's better than me I guess. "Clean up that mess you made in there"

With those words she walked away, to where is the acual question. I never actually knew what she did when she's not tormenting me.

I looked down to my legs, I had no emotions going through me. I have no idea how to even feel. I should get to cleaning that bloody mess.. sighing I get up slowly as I feel my head spin slightly.

Thats when I noticed my hands, they are stained red and so is my shirt.

Small punchers could be seen in my hands. Glancing back to the small room my heart starts to quicken, I start to feel sweaty looking at the blood on the floor.

My blood. 

I force my eyes to look over at the mirror with dry blood on the sides. But I can't keep on looking at that room, it hurts to look at and it hurts to be in there. Still, I have to move on and clean up the mess I made. 

I start my path to the kitchen, the hallway dark and slightly narrow. I don't like it, but then again I don't like many things in this house. The creaky floorboards, the old doors, the bathroom sink. It was all out a horror movie. And I despised it.

I slowly walked into the kitchen to grab some paper towels, soap, and bleach. I debated getting a bucket of water but instead I just got a coffee cup filled with water. Most of the blood was dry, the drying blood was new. Maybe from a few minutes before I woke up.

Making my way back to that small closet room, everything started to feel so surreal. I don't want to be back here. Even though I'm not getting any sort of punishment, I want to be far way from that thing.

But I knew damn well that not cleaning up would resort to worse things.

So I scrubbed, and scrubbed, and scrubbed. 

Even though half my body was in the room, even though the door was open, even though I could get up and walk away. It felt otherwise. It felt like if I slipped up I'd have to go back in there.

Tears pricked my eyes as my hands started to shake, I let out a long uneven breath.

I sit up and close my eyes, not again.

. – – it hurts to be alive.. 

I don't want to keep doing this anymore.. I just want my mind to be a rest. I can't take the fucking pain of being alive anymore, I can't keep doing this any longer or ill go insane. 

I can't tell if I want to just kill myself, or make Sally feel all the pain I went through. Both would be fine, but I prefer one. 

My mind races a mile a minute, the piece of wood in the ocean being flung around. Not stopping to take a break, I shut my eyes tightly. I just want to rest. 

I don't like this body, I don't like this life.

I want it all to be over, is that too much to ask for? 

I rest my back on the white wall behind me, letting my thoughts take over since I know its no use fight anymore. 

One bath would make a huge difference, I could lock myself in that small bathroom and die peacefully. But at the same time, Fundy needs me. Phil needs me, Tommy needs me, Techno needs me..

I just want to talk to them again, I just want to send them a text. 

But Sally forbids it, she made me block them on my phone. Since I almost called Phil for help. She forced me to stop talking to them, for all they know I've fallen of the face of the planet. 

Sally.

That name.

I want her dead.

..but, she.. she did something. She made me happy.

Made.

She still does sometimes, she gives me ice cream sometimes. She tells me she's proud of me sometimes.

I need her.

Shes right anyways, I am nothing without her.

. . Am I though?

Phil never did any of those things to me, he was always nice to me. He helped me, and.. he was there for me. 

Sighing, I pick up all the cleaning supplies I used and went to go put them away neatly. 

...Sally, her name made me angry.

I slowly shut the door of my room and locked it. Sitting down beside my bed, I curled up. This seemed to be my default position most the time. 

I just wanted to let it all out, I want to scream my head off. Cry, throw things, bash anything that came into sight. I want to let all my feeling out. I have so many kept inside my body. 

Body.. this fucking sack of meat. This horrible thing I carry around, the thing that had bruises every inch. That body.

I start to pick at my skin.

I hate this body its so discussing. I just want to rip it off. All of it. Its foul, vile, I can't believe its mine. 

I seem to want a lot of things. 

I cant help that I just want all my skin to be slowly ripped off, its disgusting anyways. I don't need it. I don't need to be alive anyways.

I just want to be happy.

I just want to run into Phils arms and stay in my dads protective force field. I want to feel safe again, I want to be sitting on a dark blue couch watching tommys favorite move. Up. I want to listen to techno ramble about some historical event that happened thousands of years ago. I want to be with my family again. 

Why can't I be with them again?

My breathing started to stager as I though more. 

I don't want to think anymor—

'BANG BANG BANG'

"WHY IS YOUR DOOR LOCKED?!"

oh no.

Warm tears immediately started to run down my face as the banging got louder and the shouting got harder to understand. My chest started to rise up and down quickly.

"Im sorry" I tried to shout but my breathing got in the way, I tired to make myself as tight as possible in a ball. My hands in my hair as my eyes we're wide. Short, choked out sobs shot out of me as the banging got faster. I don't know what to do.

If I opened the door she'll come in and get really mad, but if I don't it will be worse. Too many thoughts clouded my head as my finger nails started to dig into my scalp once again. Sweat grew down my forehead as my panic increased more and more.

"I- I'm so– sorr-y" I spoke again, almost unnoticeable behind my cries. 

I tried to rock myself back and forth to try and find some comfort in the whole situation. 

Looking around for my phone in complete and uter panic my eyes fall on on the side of my counter. My eyes go back and forth between the door being pushed and banged on, and my phone that could save my life. 

"LET ME IN DIPSHIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?!" . – . . 

The loud words make me flinch, I started to crawl to my phone quickly. My hands shakily and slowly grab onto it and I try my best to unlock it. 

Failing a couple of times I finally get it and rush to get into my blocked list. 

Please answer

Please answer

Please answer

Please answer

Please answ—

My door swung open and a pink haired woman stood over my small curled up body on the ground. 

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"  
. – . . 

"wilbur?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	10. ~Nine~

Too much was happening at once.

My instant response to Phil picking up the phone was to hang up almost immediately. 

I'm sure he heard Sally's infuriated yells. 

"Wilbur?" 

"GIVE ME THAT!"

"I– im so- sorr-y.."

"...wilbur?" 

"HEL–"  
. – – .

____

I was smacked in the face right after I hung up. It wasn't everyday my Father questioned why I was being yelled at by my wife. 

My arms we're over my head in a protective manner, with my head ducked down into my knees. Sally yelled and yelled at me why I called Phil, technically I didn't hang up. 

She bashed my phone into the ground.

It still worked, kind of, I worked enough for me to see that phil was desperately trying to call back. So was Techno and Tommy. Never has my phone been so popular until now. 

How funny..

This situation was too overwhelming, I could tell Sally had no clue what to do. All she knew was yelling, and an occasional hit to my stomach. 

I just wanted to curl up and become 14 again, when I had no worries. No pain, no responsibility. 

My mind tried to muffle out the screaming, the hits that were now bleeding. My now ripped up shirt, the that came with my head being hit against the ground. 

I didn't work. 

Panic was written all around me, I've never felt this much panic run through my body at once. It kind of hurt in a sense. 

I could feel my throat closing up and black lined my vision, coughing up a small amount of blood. It ran down my lip as my legs gave in. I was shaking, that was a sever understatement. 

Glass bottles shattered around my body lying on the floor, some sharp glass finding its way to stab my weak body. My eyes finally found something to fixate itself on as I felt myself being dragged somewhere.   
. –

No lights, but a lot of noise. 

She stood in the doorway with a hand on the door,

"You aren't coming out, until you learn to behave." 

What? Where am I? I can't see..

At this point I could only hear my sobs of pain and my quick breath. I wanted to stand up but I simply couldn't. My eyes darted around the cold room, I know where I am. How could I not? 

"Please l- let me out, im so SORRY"

____

My fingers scraped against the wood door for the millionth time. Blood smeared all over it because of my skined fingers. 

I kept on bang and bang on the door. 

Still not being able to get up, I punched the door. I want to get out. 

My voice raspy from a mix of crying and screaming, I stopped everything and just sat in silence. 

The only light that came into the dark room was the light coming from under the door. It was enough to see myself in the mirror infront of me. I look..

I.. don't know anymore, I would say dead. But I'm very much breathing. 

"Le-t me ou- out" I hushed, it was getting hard to speak by the minute. Everything hurt as I sobbed into the door. My banging on the door got slower and quite as time went on. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be trapped in here. 

I can't anymore.

Not any longer. 

It's a fucking pain waking up everyday just to repeat the same god damn thing. 

Where is Phil? Is he worrying about me? Tommy and Techno? I want them here, I need them here. I need them to hold me tight and not let me go.

Because I'm drifting away, so so far away from reality. 

But I have Fundy.. oh my god Fundy. My poor boy. 

He doesn't deserve this, all the yelling and broken bottles. He needs a better life. 

"Please.. pl- PLEASE!" 

I need to get to Fundy.

I need to clean up, and go see my son. Where could he be now? For all I know he could be hurt right now. I should be there to protect him. 

To hug him and tell him everything is going to be alright, but I'm such a horrible father. 

I should provide to him love and care.

..but I don't..

I closed my eyes harshly as I backed myself into the corner of the small room. I hear footsteps. That means danger most the time, so I tightly curled myself into a ball and quite down. Represing my breathing almost making me choke. 

The door jingles slightly as its hard to open. 

Slowly creeping open, I saw four figures stand before me.

In the front is Phil, his expression filled with pure concern and sorrow as he sees his son in such a state. 

Next was techno, he was holding fundy and covering his eyes so he wouldn't have to see his father like this. His emotions were hard to read, most the time he wore a mask of dead emotions. But I knew he had so many emotion bottled up to the point where it hurt him. 

Fundy.. oh Fundy. He had no clue what was happening, his hair flopped slightly as he walked away with techno. Eyes still covered. 

Tommy was in the back, he looked like he was in shock, and fear. He had every right to be. He was stunned starting at me, his eyes slowly wandering to the walls covered in writing.

"Tommy go with Fundy and Techno. Now." 

I didn't see my father, all I saw was on angry person standing above me. I don't want to feel any pain anymore, so I pressed myself back into where the two walls meet. Whimpering slightly as I ducked my head down trying to protect myself. 

"Wil, wil its me.. Bubba its me.." 

"Nonono st- stop, im sorry" 

"Its okay Bubba you're safe now, im here, no one can hurt you anymore.." 

He kneeled down to my level and slid next to me. My shaking slowed down.. phil.. its phil. 

With wide eyes I looked over to him, should I feel scared. He's my father, I didn't matter that I was adopted.. hes my dad. The room became cramped as two people didn't really fit.

"P- papa?" My voice came out rough, most of the time it did that. I haven't had water is fucking days. 

With a weak hands I tried to give phil a hug. He gladly embraced me as he whispers sweet nothings in my ear. My muscles tense up as he wraps himself around me, I could feel them tensing up and relaxing repeatedly I'm not used to contact.

Nice contact.   
Where no one hurt me. 

"..papa" I choked out, tears started to fall down my face slowly for what feels like the 100th time today. I felt protected in his arms, like I was home. Weirdly. He made me feel at home. It felt like I was at peace, no one could hurt me in his arms. 

"It's okay bubba.. let it all out" he whispers in my ear as he rubs my back. I felt so warm in his arms. I grip onto his green jacket tightly as a lifeline. My face buried in the crook of his neck, he rubbed my hair. Like he did when I hadn't meet Sally. Like when I came to him crying because of stupid stress. 

"Wil, what is this?" He questioned with so much concern filling his voice, he wanted to know what his son was locked up in a dark room with hateful comments written all over the walls. And I truthfully don't know how to respond, in all honesty I didn't even know.

Why or where to begin. 

So I just clung onto him tighter, in fear that he'll leave me here if I tell him the truth. He didn't leave or push me away, he just held me close. And that's what I really need. For someone to care, to tell me I'm worth living. 

It was a new feeling, but I liked it. 

I slowly fell into an unconscious state of mind. Letting myself go limb in my dads arms, I trust him more than anything. 

I trust him enough to keep me safe while I finally close my eyes for the first time in ages. 

The piece of wood floated along the top of the water, there was no crashing of waves. No raging storm. There was no depths of the static ocean. Just a calm breeze as time passed by.   
– . – –

Tic tok goes the clock

Tic tok

Tic tok

T̷̫͉̰͕̒́I̶̴̗̗̦͍ͨͭ̉͢͟C̸̣̭͖̤̒̈͊͟ T̷̫͉̰͕̒́O̵̷̪̰ͩ͆ͅK̦̖̙̱̮̐̌ G̛͔͇̞̹̈͘͘͟O̵̷̪̰ͩ͆ͅE̸̖̪̱͚ͨ̀͜S̵̶̮̬͖̄͑͟ T̷̫͉̰͕̒́H̶̪͍̒ͥ͑̓E̸̖̪̱͚ͨ̀͜ C̸̣̭͖̤̒̈͊͟L̳͈͉̅̊O̵̷̪̰ͩ͆ͅC̸̣̭͖̤̒̈͊͟K̦̖̙̱̮̐̌

Tic tok

Tic tok 

The clock goes round and round...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	11. ~Ten~

I woke up to the smell of food..?

I should be making food by now it's.. 1:45pm?! Oh no Sally's going to–

"Wilbur?"

I dart my eyes to the door, Phil.

"Wil, foods ready. Its not breakfast but Techno made lunch" he mentioned.. with a smile? He shuffled away awkwardly and left me alone in these four walls. I get.. food?

I removed the covers of my cold and pale body, I have bandages wrapped around my legs and what feels like waist.

...huh?

Who did this?

Why?

..I'm confused..

Throwing my legs over the edge of the bed, my feet touching the cold wood floor. I'm not in my room, well technically I am. This is my old room, in Phils house. When did I get here?

Why am I here?

Moving my toes slightly i get up and stighten out my back. I let out a pound grunt as I stretched out my arms and tilted my head to the side. 

Everything is so nostalgic, the curtains, the towel, the posters, the bed, everything.. absolutely everything. 

It feels like I'm home. At peace. 

I slowly open the door and peaked over the corner of the wall, Techno was in the kitchen, Tommy was on the couch playing on his switch. Mumbling something about.. Tubbos stupid villagers? It didn't really interest me that much. 

Techno turned around and gave me a small smile and waved at me to go over to him. Slowly stepping out from behind the wall, I crept over to him unsure of what he wanted. 

He handed me a plate of..?

I glanced up to him as he have me a plate of food, it had white rice some sort of meat with probably what is the juice of the meat drizzled over the rice. 

"I uh, I made some salmon.. I don't know if you like salmon but um Phil went to the grocery since this is all we have.."

He gave me a spoon and pointed at me to go sit down and eat. I gladly did.

It was strange being able to sit down and enjoy food without having someone monitor you. So I only need up eating a few bites.

It tasted amazing, but it felt wrong. I can't tell if it was the fact that no one told me when to stop eating and when to start. Or if it was just weird to eat salmon. I'll go with the first option. 

Techno sat down in his own seat, not infront of me nor next to me. Slightly left infront. He ate his food pretty quickly, seems like he's hungry. He glanced up at me and raised his eyebrow.

"You didn't like it?" He questioned with a few grains of rice walling out his mouth, I guess he sensed that I was uncomfortable and went back to eating. 

Maybe I should eat more..

Its not really hurting anyone, is it? 

So I picked up my spoon and ate with Techno, neither of us utterd a word as we ate. We didn't look at each other or comment on how fast or slow we ate.   
It felt nice.

I put down my spoon only to be surprised, I ate it all.. oh no. 

Beginning to panic I quickly get up and put my dish in the sink. It clashed against the metal sink as I winced. Shake it off and I dash into my room and continue my rain of panic washing over my body. 

Why did I do that

I'm not allowed to do that

Thats why I'm so fat

I'm so disgusting 

Sallys voice rang through my head, yelling at me things that just wanted to make me curl up and not see the light of day again. I leaned against my wall and tried to calm myself down.   
Its not that big of a deal..

I sighed as the only thing I can do is punish myself for being such a fucking fool. So I slowly walk to my closet.

You are nothing without me

Look at yourself, disgusting 

You make me sick

You know the consequences 

Why can't you be normal

I tried so hard 

You deserve absolutely nothing 

I drop to my knees and let out a pained sob, bring my hand over my mouth to quite myself down. Wet tears run down my face as I let my head hang loose.

Its all my fault

I've failed her

She was right

I hiccuped every once in a while as the only thing that could be heard is the ticking of my clock.. the hand slowly going clockwise as time passed by. 

'Thud'   
'Thud'  
'Thud'

"Who is it" I forced out, "its me Techno.. and um Phils here to"

Before I could put in a protest they slowly opened the door, first was Phil and Techno came in last. They look worried as they saw me on the floor crying. 

"Bubba.." Phil said in a sad tone, he didn't go straight to hugging me. He just sat down next to me leaving space between me and him. Techno just sat on my bed not really knowing what to do, I don't blame him. He held out his arms, an invitation for a hug.

I gladly accepted it.

I fell into his arms and he held me tight, not letting me go. "It hurts.. so much"

"I know kiddo, I know.. its going to be okay"

I sniffled at that, how could he possibly know. He rubbed my arms in an attempt to stop me from crying again. It was working.

I wanted to stay in his arms forever, they felt like home. I felt safe in them. Closing my eyes slowly, I let him hum to me my favorite tune. Surprisingly he still knows it. Its been years since I've heard it, I smiled lightly.

For once I didn't mine the clock ticking. Or Phil picking me up and placing me on my bed, or the Techno that wrapped his arms around me and held me as we both drift off to sleep together.

It was nice.  
I felt like home.  
I am home.

I looked up again for the last time,   
It felt like I grabbed life my the neck and said fuck you.

I had beaten the clock on the wall, I won. But not for long, because round two was just only just starting.

Tick tok goes the clock

The clock goes round and round..

Tick tok

Tick tok

We all fall down..

Tick tok.. the clock will stop..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	12. ~Eleven~

The middle of the day is my least favorite part of the day. 

Sure, waking up sucked enough.. but then having to continue that is worse. It gets all sunny and humid around these time. I just hate it. 

The end of the day is great, everything starts to wind down. The sun goes away, and it becomes a little chilly. Its my favorite part of the day. 

Those were my thoughs as Phil drove me to erets house, we are going to go pick up my son. In all honesty, im scared, so fucking scared.

What is he going to think about me?

His father, the person he's supposed to look up to can't even take care of him. Most of the time he spent his time at his friend's house. Or just stuck in his room.

It was too unsafe for him to even come out and have dinner most the time. Hes going to hate me.

Phils tapping on the starring wheel wasn't waking this situation any better. The more he tapped the more I felt nervous, it sounded like a clock. 

I hate clocks.

Phil glanced over at he with a worried smile, we are going close to Eret's house. I never really got close to the man, but from what I could tell he sounded like an amazing person.

Sighing again, I put my elbow on the car door and rest my head on my hand. My knee started to bounce up and down as the moved closer to my son.

"You okay wil?" He asked nervously, he seemed to be also scared for me. 

"I don't I just.. I feel like I'm losing him Phil! He's my son! And I failed him, I couldn't give him the things he deserved!" 

He pressed his lips together in a straight line. He was thinking of what to say, he always had good advice almost instantly. Yet he took so long that it made me worry more. Turning back to look outside the car window I let my mind become blank as I unfocused my eyes.

Everything blurred as I heard Phil continue to talk, about what is something I cannot answer.

Focusing my eyes again I notice Phil take out the keys of the ignition and started to open his door. Looking back at me, "Come on! Fundy's waiting!" He explained excitedly. Almost like he wasn't radiating anxiety right now.

I could tell he was petrified of what fundys reaction would be to him seeing me for the first time in a long time. 

With the loud banging of his door closing I opened mine and stepped out. Immediately noticing the beautiful house in front of me. Almost felt like I don't deserve to be standing on this mans drive way. 

Letting out a long breath, I start to walk with Phil to his door. Where I'm greeted with a welcome matt and some flowers to the side. 

Admiring his house slightly, Phil stepped to the side to let me do the honors of knocking on the door. Glancing back at him with a flare of hatred. I knocked on the door three times and stood there wating for a response.

"Hello!"

A tall man welcomed me and Phil, he gestured for us to talk in. It was a little cold, but just the right kind of cold. His wood floor made a clanking sound everytime someone's heel would meet with the ground. White painted walls met at every corner to make nicely painted walls. 

I smiled at him and mumbled a hello but as Phil stepped in. 

They seemed to know each other well because Eret stuck up a conversation with Phil almost instantly as he stood foot inside. 

Looking to my right to inspect the house even more, I saw Fundy sitting on the couch. He hadn't noticed me yet, he was too distracted with the video game on the large TV for him to notice my stares at him. 

He looks so.. happy.

"How ya doing Wilbur?" Eret asked loudly, making me and Fundy jump. In the corner of my eye I saw him look back quietly. 

Oh shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	13. ~Twelve~

☆•°𝔽𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕪'𝕤 𝕡𝕠𝕧°•☆:

I was just playing video games with Eret, that was all I was doing. But the moment had to be ruined.

He was teaching me how to play GTA. That was all, nothing more nothing less. But the universe wasn't in my favor today. But when isn't it?

The only thing I know if I'm being honest, is that mom and dad had a big fight.. It didn't really interest me about what. I'm used to this kind of thing, they always fight. Dad never really yells though, I don't know why. Mom usually is the one to yell, dad went out his was to get my room soundproofed. He said something about.. wanting me to have privacy? I don't know what that's about either.

I never told him to get my room soundproofed, I didn't even care to being with. Maybe its the fact that he doesn't want me to hear the fights, but I'm not a small incapable child. I'm not stupid. It wasn't for privacy, not for me to talk with friends, not for me to yell and have no one hear it. 

It annoyed me.

That my dad wanted to protect me so much, I could tell by the look of his eyes that he never liked it when mom was around me. He always got so tense everytime she touched me, she can literally put a hand on my shoulder and he'd get scared. It's annoying, I just want to be with my mom. 

Though, she never really seemed to care about me. She'd never really acknowledged my existence, never gave me a good morning or good night. Never checked on my homework.. this is frustrating.

Eret told me to focuse on running from the swarm of cops behind me as he went to go open the door. 

Not really paying attention, all I heard was a 'hello' and a small conversation. I didn't pay much attention to the voices or Erets heels clanking on the shiny wooden floor as he turned to look at me with a side eye.

"How ya doing Wilbur?"

————

Dad and I were watching some random cartoons on the television. We had sat in silence for about 30 minutes, we had nothing really to talk about. 

I saw dad's shoulders tense up, he looked to the window quickly. "Fundy go to your room please" he barley spoke out, his voice was projecting away from he as he kept his eyes locked on the door.

"But why–"

"Fundy, I don't need to argue with you right now. Do what I said, go to your room, and I'll tell you when you can come out." He stated sternly, he gaze shifted to me a bit. Not wanting to make him mad any more I listen. Now that I think about it.. dad was never really made at me. I just felt like it.

I turned back around seeing dads face become more frightened than stern. Shacking it off I step inside my room and quietly close the door. 

My room isn't professionally soundproofed, he just did it himself. And pretty fast might I say. 

So I could hear really loud things, I can hear them better if they are closer to my walls. 

All I heard were some faint yells, as far as I could tell it was just talking. Then I heard something smashing. My eyes race to my door, I could just go see what happening. Knowing that dad will just give the same old, 'my hands were shaking again and dropped something'.

Which was complete bullshi–

I mean, which was a complete lie by the way. The only thing that's stopping me is that stupid wooden door. Maybe I could acually see what was going on for once. I'm tried of having to hear lies all the time, I want the truth. 

Why I'm always locked up in my room.

Why I'm almost never allowed to see mom.

Why dad always gets scared of mom.

Why they fight so much.

But I never opened the door, I just sat back on my pc and played minecraft with an online friend for hours on end. He made all the weird thoughts in my head hide away, hes an amazing friend. 

He always made me laugh and have an amazing time, I never really though about dad and moms fights when I was with him. 

He never really showed me his face, only for a few times on face time. He seemed to be kinda insecure about his face. Or maybe he just doesn't like cameras.

It didn't matter to me, we made each other happy through our sad lives.

————

I jumped a bit hearing thoes words, that's my father's name. Snapping my head back I see him looking at me. He seems.. sad, he shouldn't be sad he has no right to be sad. I should be the one yelling and crying at him as I tell him off for the things he's made me feel.

My eyes glace over to Eret and Phil, they both look extremely nervous as my eyes brows created an angry expression. I don't even know what say to him, I had so many things rehearsed yet they all flew out my head. 

He shifted his body to face me, standing up from the video game playing on the TV I paused it and walked over. 

I stopped walking when there was about 3 feet, maybe more, away from him. I looked at him in the eyes he looks hurt. Like his soul took a beating.

"Fundy.. im so sor–"

"Dad do you understand.. do you even know how much you hurt me? Everyday I had to be in my room so I wouldn't have to hear you and mom fighting.." my voice came out angry and cold. Cutting him off from being able to apologize. 

"I know you guys fight, every night, every second of the day.. dad I'm not stupid."

"I know Fundy.. I know, but you have to understand that it was never my intention to make you feel thoss ways.." 

"Fundy.. your mother–" he sighed as he looked down to the ground that he stood on, he kneeled down to my level and put his hands on my shoulders.

"You're going to have to make a very important decision kiddo, one that will literally change your life–"

"And what if I dont want to! You still haven't even told be why I'm almost never allowed to see mom! Why do I have to make an 'important decision that will change my life'?!" I mocked his voice and spat out anger.

He just kneeled there in silence, he hands dropped from my shoulders as he looked at me with pained eyes. He tried to mumble answers to my questions but nothing came out. Hes never heard me this angry. I've never really raised my voice for anything.

He just closed his eyes and sighed, he stood up and looked at me again. "Fundy.. your mother hurt me in many different ways, and you shouldn't have to worry about that." 

I just shook my head, "its more than that! Do you even being to understand how much I've missed out in life?! I was supposed to take you guys to school, but you didn't show up! And I don't even want to begin to hear your excuses!" 

I'm starting to get emotional.. I just want to go back and play with Dream for a while. So I can just exist freely and not have to worry about this 'important decision'. 

He meshed his lips into a line, both Eret and Phil looked at each other and decided it was best to leave us alone. They started to open the front door, to what I assume they are going to hang out in the front porch. 

"You have to stop trying to protect me form the world.. im not 7.."

I could tell he didn't know what to say, or do. He ran his hand through his hair as sighed, his breathing getting a bit jagged.

"Fundy do you want to stay with Eret for a few days? Or do you want to come with me and Phil to go his house?"

I'm fuc–

I'm tired of having to bounce houses constantly, but right now going with him is one step closer to finding where mom is. 

"I want to go with you.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	14. ~Thirteen~

•°𝔽𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕪'𝕤 ℙ𝕠𝕧°•☆:

I was sitting in the back seat of Phils car, it smelt nice. Kind of like a mix of lavender and pinetree, if that makes sense. I could tell that Phil had teenage boys in the car before and that he tried to hide the smell with the nice smell. 

The car was a bit dirty, the floor had small spots of stains. Probably from dropped fast food, I though Phil was the kind of guy that wouldn't let you eat in his car. 

Apparently not.

It was awkward. Correction, its extremely awkward that I'm sat in this car. There was no music playing on the radio, the only noise that was hear are the cars passing by quickly. 

I haven't gone to school in days.. im going to have a bunch of homework to do.

The loud silence filled the car, phils sighs occasionally could be heard when someone enraged him on the road. Hes never really had bad road rage. 

Phil had this thing were he has to tap on the steering wheel, its a bit annoying but what can I do? Nothing. 

Dad looked frustrated, like he wanted to blurt something out but he was restraining himself. He looked so written with anxiety it worried me. His leg bounced up and down as we got closer to Phils house. 

Everyones nervousness could legitimately be felt, it made me want to roll my eyes. All I'm doing is going to go live with Phil for a while, then stuff will go back to how they were. Back to my soundproof room, back to that old house, back to normal. My normal I guess. 

Sighing quietly I took out my phone and opened the messaging app.

●□—Bed pisser 🛌—□●

Dream  
1:37pm

Dream  
1:38pm

Dude hellooo?  
1:40pm

Whattt  
1:41 pm

Oh so you gonna just leave me hanging?  
1:42 pm

No need to be so moody..  
1:42pm

Whats up  
1:42 pm

Hopping houses again   
1:42 pm

Again?  
1:42 pm

Yupp.. fucking sucks  
1:43 pm

Where u now  
1:43 pm

In a car  
1:43 pm

Damn warn me when u want to start texting so dryly  
1:43 pm

🙄🙄  
1:43 pm

U gonna play mc later I'm bored   
1:43 pm

Please inform me how the hell im going to play mc.. when I dont have my pc.. its in my house.. AND IM GOING TO ANOTHER HOUSE..  
1:44 pm

And u said im moody  
1:44 pm

Time flys by as I text Dream, I scoffed and rolled my eyes at him dumb texts, I had to hold in my laughter as he sends me dumb memes. Bring my eyes from my phone I see dad smiling, sometimes I wonder what goes on in his head. There's nothing to be smiling about.. weird.

Hearing the car come to a complete stop Phil turns the keys of the vehicle and looks back, "welcome to my house"

Clenching my jaw I force my right lip up so I could make a small smile. He turns back, unbucles his seat belt and starts to open the drivers side of the door. Dad starts to do the same as well as I do. Shoving my phone into my pocket I leave dream on read, he'll be fine.. I hope. 

I walk behind Phil and dad, it annoyed me that they walked so slow. Come on already.. I know you're old but I just want to get this over with. Phil puts the keys in the lock but before turning the keys and opening the door he closes his eyes tightly bracing himself.. weird.. damn these people are the definition of weird. 

I saw Phils face change so quickly, his eyes went wide a little bit, mouth opened slightly, and the door flung open.

"...what the fuck..." Phil managed to mumble, dad scooted to the side so I could see.

I wanted to burst out laughing at the scene that was unfolding infront of me. Tommy stood on top of the dinner table, with some stupid glasses on his head. A green bandana wrapped around his neck as he held multiple coke bottles. The coke bottles landed perfectly upside down, "IVE SINNED NOW IT'S TIME TO YEET MYSELF OUT THE WINDOW!" 

My smile widens as I heard more bottles hitting the ground, Technoblade had his hair tied up like a pineapple behind his head. He had.. swag glasses on? And bottle flipped milk on the floor, the ground was a mess. Sofa pillows scattered everywhere, and minecraft loudly playing on the TV.

"BOYS!"

Dad flinched silently at the loud yell Phil let out. He looked over to the blond haird man quickly then mumbled a sorry. 

No one seemed to notice, the man in green was fixated on his two adopted sons. I glance over to dad again, he looks like he wants to cry. Making my eyes go back and forth between the two adults and two teenagers. It was so hard to not burst out laughing at the sight infront of me. 

"What the.. what the fuck?! What is this? I told you guys to get everything cleaned up! And what do you do?" He steps in his house and looks around at the mess, "I told you fundy might come today! I said to get shit cleaned up!" 

He pinched the bridge of his nose and started to tap his foot down in anger, dad started to look more panicked than ever. "..just.. get this cleaned up.. now!" Dad winced one last time as he kept his head down. He started to pick at his skin it was unnoticeable unless you looked closely. I tapped his shoulder, his eyes widen as he looks down at my hight.

"You okay dad?"

All he did was nod and bring his gaze back down. 

"Fundy your room is all the way on the right, Techno will show you"

————

It was around 6pm, I haven't really left my room after Techno showed me around. The sound from the living room stopped a while ago, I was talking with dream while I let time peacefully passed by. 

Sighing in boredom, I swung my legs off the now messed up bed and got up. I shoved my phone in my pocket as I made my way to the door of this room. The room wasn't as big as my other room, it was a little bit smaller. The walls were painted with a light grey. The bed placed in the corner of the room, a small ish red rug in the middle of the room. It was soft, and a bit fuzzy. 

The closet was mostly empty only a few shirts were neatly hanged inside.

My hand reached for the doorknob, the coldness of the knob and the warm of my hand collided together as I turned it. Revealing a pretty dark hallway.

I made sure my feet didn't make much of a noise as I made my way to the living room, once I was there the TV was black. The mess was completely gone, the kitchen sink was no longer clogged with apple sauce. Smiling at the memory of Techno having to explain why he shoved all the apple sauce down the sink.

A waste of food if you ask me.

Techno had this thing of rambling and making words way to complex for anyone to understand. Chuckling at the memory that played through my mind, Phils face was absolutely amazing. It was like a Netflix show. 

From a distance I hear talking, its inaudible. So I walk closer to get a better listen to the conversation. It isn't invasion of privacy.. totally.

I walked closer and closer to the white door, the talking getting a bit louder as I slowly walked.

Pressing my ear against the door, I heard fast breaths.

"Listen to me kiddo, match my breathing.." I could tell it was Phil.

"I– no please.. I'm sorry" ..dad? He sounded so scared, what was Phil doing to him?

"Its okay.. its okay.. Bubba everythings fine, take deep breaths."

"Nono don– don't touch me–" my dads breaths became more jagged as I heard scooting. 

"Im sorry wil.. just calm down for me"

Phil keeps trying to make dad breath, why can't he breath? Does he have asthma? If he can't breath shouldn't he be dead..?

After a few more minutes of reassuring, I could hear dad calm down. He could talk better now, thats good.

"What happened..? Why can't I touch you?"

"I.. I just.. when you were yelling– I don't know i just got scared.." 

So I was right..

"Was it because of Sally?"

"Yeah" the yeah was quite, dad sounds like he's in so much pain. His voice was raspy as he tried to talk. I again heard scooting of people, I could only assume he moved closer to Phil. 

"It will all be over soon Bubba, we are going to take that bitch to court. Shes going to pay for what she did to you" 

Phil mumbled with certainly lacing his voice, he sounds so confident.. what was that the 'life changing decision' id have to make?

Are mom and dad getting divorced..?

So many questions ran around my head, I know they fight constantly. I didn't think it was this bad, mom and dad seemed happy together when they are around me.

But adults lie. 

They lie.. and lie.. and lie..

Until they're tongues are ripped out from their mouth is when they finally decide to tell the truth. Until blood stains their clothes will they utter the truth.. until they are on their last god damn breath, they probably won't even begin to break free from the lies. 

Its a disease.. The Art of Lying. 

Published, since the beginning of time. Written by the adults that think they run life. 

They think they own everything with the deceit that runs through their vain constantly. Im tired of adults lying straight through their teeth, I just want the truth. 

But when will that come?

Getting up from the floor, I didn't care to listen to their bickering any longer. In the corner of my eyes I saw Technoblade standing around the corner, he was watching me the whole time. 

I dont care, in fact I turned around and looked him dead in the eyes. My death stare matched his surprised eyes, he turned around and walked away from me. 

Let's just wait until he gets the disease too.

Walking back to the room I've been provided with, breakfast was going to be very awkward after tonight. 

𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	15. ~Fourteen~

♤¤𝕎𝕚𝕝𝕓𝕦𝕣'𝕤 𝕡𝕠𝕧¤♤:

Weeks have passed since that one night.

I've tried so much to get close to fundy, but I haven't tried my best. I could do so much more. I have no real excuses for being so distant from my son, I just don't know how to talk to him.

What do teenage boys even like?

Sat on the couch next to fundy, hes playing a game called minecraft. He is acually very good. He has a avatar skin that resembled a fox like creature, I was paying close attention to was he way doing. Right now he is doing a thing called 'strip mining'. He's basically looking for Redstone. 

Looking to my right, I see tommy on his switch again. Animal crossing music playing quietly from his device. Technoblade was no where to be seen, the last time I saw him he was scribbling something down in a black note book very quickly. He had a pretty large pocket knife beside him as he wrote. 

I've taken note of a few small things, one of the major ones being that tommy never went anywhere without a green bandana. He either always had it tied to his neck, or he tied it to a piece of clothing. Regardless, I could tell he began to become anxious whenever he was more than 3 feet away from the sage green bandana. 

Techno always gets a new notebook for each subject he writes about, the only one that I've seen inside of is a orange notebook. It had each page full of scribbled writings and modles, all about farming potatoes. I have only seen him with 5 different colored notebooks, he also always used a different colored pen for each notebook.

I noticed that Phils favorite is Techno, this doesn't really bother me. Tommy seems very bothered by it though, at the end of the day it was always rubbed off and we continued our lives. 

Fundy cursed under his breath as a green thing exploded his building.

His fingers ran rapidly around the controller as he tried to fix the mess, he seemed very pissed off. 

"Watch out there's a baby zombie" I whisper, all he did was give me a smile. I could have sworn he leaned against me but he corrected his 'mistake' and sat back up. It made me smile wide.

————

The cold autumn air around me as I slowly kicked my feet, I was heading in a direction away from Phils house.

It was late, last time I checked it was around 5:30 pm.

I left Fundy sleeping in his room, he had opened up to me more about his love for minecraft. It seemed to be the only thing that bonded us together. He was tired after today, he spent the whole day play fighting with Tommy and tubbo. I bought them all plastic swords to entertain themselves. 

The concrete pebbles being kicked as I swayed my feet against the ground, I made my way to a old rusty bridge. It used to be my little hangout, no one went over there anymore. It was old and abandoned, rust laying the top layer as it slowly ate away to the metal.

Inhaling deeply, a mixture of cold air and smoke filled my lungs.

Cloudy over lapped each other, the sky was a grey color. Signaling that it was going to rain soon, the water underneath me running slowly. The river was sad and almost drained of its water if rain didn't fall soon enough. 

Finally getting to the middle of the rusty green bridge, I let my arms rest on the railing. My eyes looked into the sky of nothing. Bringing the cigarette to my lips, I inhaled and slowly exhaled the grey fumes. The smoke was the only thing that could calm me down to a stop.

Techno knew, in fact he was the one to give me my first pack. 

The world had a grey overtone to it, life seemed completely drained of color. Tapping the cigarette a bit, crumbs of what once used to be my stress reliever fell silently. 

Wind gracefully started to pick up as it blowed against my mauve hoodie and black pants. One last time, smoke escaped my cracked lips as I let the cigarette fall out my fingers. Watching it get blown away into the dark nothingness of the water below me.

Picking up my head, I began to get memorized by the clouds. The sun illuminated behind them, giving the clouds a glowing effect. The trees leafs falling off the branches, some stayed strong and held on tight to the tree. 

I gulped, why am I even here? There is no symbolic explanation, I just felt like i had to be here. In this moment, everything felt calm. My mind was calm, the stupid piece of wood layed calmly on top of the water. The waves weren't there, they weren't crashing down, the rain disappeared, the sky was bright. My mind was at peace here. 

Not hearing a figure walk next to me, they stood next to me. In a similar position as me, an unlit cigarette in between their fingers. 

"Mind giving me a light?" His voice came out like silk, almost like he bad never picked up a cigarette in his entire existence. It was deep, and I could tell they weren't from London. 

Nodding i hand him my lighter, it was a soft yellow color. 

"So uh what are you doing here all alone? This isn't 2014 Tumblr by the way"

"Nothing much, just staring"

The strange person scoffed and brought the nicotine to his lips, they stared into the direction I was. 

————

Closing the door shut, I winced as the front door made a creaking sound as I shut the door behind me. No one was in the living room, the only light on was the kitchen light.

"Fuck.." I barley let out the word as I pulled out my phone to check the time, it's a bit after 1 am. Was I really out for that long? Surely not.

Taking my shoes off at the start of the wooden tile, next to tommys old shoes. They had words written on them that have been washed out over the months. 

I let the cold of the floor and the warmth of my feet melt together. I creeped my way over to my outdated room. "Wilbur get over here" 

A stern voice called out, my shoulders tensed as I heard a voice call out my name. Thoughts race my mind, voices fill my head. What do they want? Am I in trouble?

"Wilbur! Get your ass over here. Now!"

I swallow saliva that clogged my throat, my nail starts to dig into my my thumb as an eerie silence ring through the house. 

My feet start to move by themselves, walking closer to the voice that ill classify as Phil. My socks make it hard to get a good grip on that dark wood floor. Hands start to stiffen as I here scribbles being written on a paper.

Hands slam on the table as Sally yells profanities at me. 

Breathing starts to become irregular, the floorboards make sounds as my weight pushes against them. 

"Yeah?" My voice coming out as shaking, my right eyebrow starts to twitch up and down. I start to clench my jaw as a dinner table appeared around the corner. "Sit down wilbur"

"Wilbur, baby sit down we need to have a talk." Her voice sounded sweat, like honey dripping down from her throat.

Pulling out a chair from underneath the decently sized table, I sat infront of Phil. Posture straight, but my knee bounced rapidly under the table. Phils eyes looking up from his paper, computer to his left.

His green ish blue eyes stared into my brown eyes. 

He let out a prolonged sigh,   
"Wilbur take time to look at this"  
"Wilbur take time to look at what you've done!"

"What is this..?" I asked with question, swatting away the voices and try take over. His finger landed on the paper, right next to a name and a number.

"This is your lawyer and his number. I've heard he's very good at what he does, almost no chance of losing with him." Phil jumps straight to the point. 

Glancing down to the paper, I see multiple numbers and word written down. 

"Quac-a-tity? The fuck kind of name is that?"

————

I sat on my old desk chair, head leaned back. My eyes glued onto the the white ceiling, the paper Phil gave me was placed on top of my desk. 

My smile grew wide as I heard a small ding come from my phone, its jschlatt. While at the bridge (where I was supposed to commit suicide) he had come out of fucking no where, it put me off a bit. How could have someone known I was going to fling myself off a bridge? It was weird, he appeared out of hiding like it was nothing.

We had an awesome time, it was amazing. He took my mind off things, off Sally. 

If felt like I was finally winning at life, I could confidently call him my friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	16. ~Fifteen~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When there's a °•———•° thing it means a smut scene is happening.

♤¤𝕎𝕚𝕝𝕓𝕦𝕣'𝕤 𝕡𝕠𝕧¤♤:

My hands gripped the two black folders I have, all filled with mountains of evidence. Of what? Well you could probably guess, all the shit that Sally has done to me over the past years. 

I had to force myself to not bite off my nails, I'm so fucking nervous. I'm more that nervous, my head started to pound as the bright lights of this attorney's office shined down on me. 

There is this receptionist at the front, they had bright pink hair and prominent eyeliner. They seemed nice.

Sighing softly I looked back down, I don't want to make the.. I squint my eyes a bit. Niki, their name is Niki. I don't want to make them uncomfortable with my starting. Hell I know what it feels like. 

"Mr. Soot, Mr. Quackity is ready to meet with you." The pink haired receptionist called out, the two other people that sat in the room didn't look up or even care to notice. I smiled and gave them a small 'thank you' before walking into a door. 

Niki lead me to a brown door, on the side it had a plaque that read 'attorney Quackity'. 

What a dumb fucking name. 

The last I saw of the short receptionist was them nodding and walking away. Leaving me infont of a door that was way to short for me, having to kneel a bit so I could walk in. Sighing I knock on the door, not long pass (like 30 seconds, but it feels like a lot). I hear a 'come in. 

Walking in I see a man, while he sat he was around the top of my thighs. Presumably while standing up he'd be around my collarbone.

What is it with people being so short?

"Uh can I sit?" 

"Of course!" His voice is high, like he just got into doing this type of stuff. Sitting down uncomfortably in a black chair, he has a pretty decently sizes office. 

He has a LAFD beanie on, does he take that into court? 

"So Mr. Soot, I've only been able to broadly skim over your reasoning why you're here. Care to explain?" 

I tense up, I've never really talked about what happened. Only a few words, at most 3 sentences. I don't feel like talking about it especially to a complete stranger. A long silence roams around the room, he shakes his head.

"Look man, I can't help you if you won't talk. This is our first meeting, meaning that you have to tell me whats going on in order for me to either accept or decline your case." He sighs putting his hands on this desk. "I get it's hard, all I know is that you have a past abuser. I can't promise you that I can accept this case and take you to court. But I'm one hell of a fighter if I do." 

I put the two thick black folders on top of his desk, "I uh.. God this is hard um, my ex wife- well shes still my wife. Um she- fuck" I rub my face trying find the right words. 

Gulping down the block of saliva that blocked my throat.

"She abused me, all the evidence is in these folders. I- my dad made this appointment with you, I don't know what to do or-" I cut myself off before I could continue. 

"Can I look in the folder?" Nodding, his hands move to the folder. He opens it slowly, like if he's seen some shit he wants to unsee. 

He breaths in shapely, papers and papers filled the folders. They were writings I did in the past years, hospital bills, photos of my bruises ands cuts that littered my body. 

The most worrying picture is one of me in the small closet, hands above my head. My clothes had been ripped off my body leaving me naked, my hands had my own blood on them, eyes shut tightly as the flash had been shining brightly on me. The mirror very much visible and it had blood dripping from it, from my scared hands.  
My hair was stuck to my forehead, a mixture of sweat and blood.

His breath stopped as he stared at the picture.

"I've seen some shit man, but nothing like this." He skims over the other folder and rests him arms on the dark wood desk. 

"There is no way in hell we are losing this case." He smirks

"You have a son right?" He asks, "yeah"

"I suggest you start telling him whats going on, because if he thinks everything is sunshine and rainbows he'll want to go with his mother." He pauses to look down at the picture, "and god knows what she'll do to him"

I tilt my head, not really knowing what he's getting at.

"So.. you accept..?" 

"Absolutely, I'll make sure you get justice" 

————

I close the front door gently, doing my normal routine. Shoes off and next to Tommy's, except Tommy's shoes weren't here this time. His red Converse, god thoes stupid Converse. We beg im constantly to just get new ones already, the shoe laces are all messed up and one of the soles of the shoe is starting to come lose.

Tubbo had written a bunch of quotes and drawings on his shoes, mostly on the white part. Tommy had done the same to his shoes.

I suppose he just gets attached to items, now that I think about it we give him a lot of shit for that. I'll have to apologize soon, having comfort items isn't bad. (I guess I never thought Tommy would be one to have a comfort item) 

Sighing for like the millionth time today, it has been a stressful day, Quackity's words still rung through my head.

"I'll make sure you get justice"

Do I really need justice? I mean Sally does deserve to be in jail, what if she did the same to someone else? They don't deserve that.

Passing the kitchen to get to my door, I see Techno. Before letting out my words I notice he's sharpening his favorite dagger, using whetstone. He got a new block a while back. Whetstone is similar to sandpaper, its used to refine a blade while you slide the blade across the block. 

He was mumbling something, most likely to his voices. It was mostly inaudible, 

"Blod fr bld g" 

"Sh wll p"

"Sh hrt hm"

"Tme is ner" 

And more stuff I can't even begin to understand, I clear my throat and his head snaps up. His eyes had a blood lust look to them, but he quickly blinked it way. Almost like he was aware yet unaware of his wanting. His jaw clenched as he stared into my brown orbs, "sorry, got a little carried away.."

"S'alright Techno" I respond back and leave him to do what he's doing, taking into account that the small back notebook was next to him with he continued to sharpen his dagger and mumble random things. 

————

My head layed in the same position as a few days ago, head leaned back on my chair and letting it dangle a little since I didn't quite fit the chair. 

Today was stressful, having to talk to that Quackity guy, being out a lot.. I just hate it.

°•——————•°  
♡  
•°——————°•

My left hand slowly slide to my inner thigh, making its way up to where I wanted to touch. I let out a low whimper, I haven't been able to to this in months. 

Starting to palm my crotch, I went slow and not too hard. Feeling myself get more erect as I went on. 

I turn around to make sure my door was locked, and thankfully It was. It would have been awkward to get up and go lock it. I let my hands do their thing, I unzipped my pants and let them fall to a bit under my knees. 

"NO! STOP IT PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO-" 

My eyes widen in panic, it's okay it's just a flash back. Nothing new.

Continuing what I was doing, left hand slowly going into my boxers. My cold hand starts to push itself into my underwear as I touch my dick. 

My breathing hitches, god I feel so vulnerable and sensitive. I pull out my dick from my black boxers, already being used to the cold I didn't shiver as much as it was met with the cold air. Gulping again I shut my eyes and let my hand go up and down my shaft. 

I stiffel a moan as my thumb circles my tip.

"PLEASE LET ME GO- I-"  
"Quiet down slut, I don't want to hear another word come out your mouth" 

She chains my weak body to the bed, making sure I can't get loose. She sits on my naked body, tears fall down my face with no pattern. A light admitted from a camera.. Camera?!

I didn't want to, I swear. I just wanted to go get a cookie from the kitchen, I never would I have though a fucking cookie would get me here in this position. 

Her loud moans escaped from her lips as I sobbed violently, everything felt wrong, I don't want to be here.

"Im s- please im so sorr-y" I cry out, but she ignores my cries and plead to be let loose. 

My eyes snap open, I pant heavy while trying to shut up so no one hears me. Fuck its like my teenage years again, having to worry about being dead silent while I did unholy things. Tears form in my eyes as the old memories flash infront of me. 

Regardless, I continue. I just wanted to feel pleasure without remembering the past, and that seemed so fucking impossible.

My free hand moves up to my face, I plant it on my mouth as I start becoming more verbal. Small whimper of pleasure come out of me. My hand moving up and down, making myself move faster in my grip. 

I can feel a pool of heat begin to form in my tummy, eyes rolling back my head starts to go blank and I forget about the past. Rubbing my fingers on the veins of my cock I feel myself getting closer to finishing. 

"Mm- hngh~" the hand on my mouth becomes loose on my face and my hips start to thrust upward into my now warm hand. 

Pleasure running along my spine as I force my hand to slow down so I could last a bit longer. 

Placing my free hand on my neck I start to chock myself lightly to get myself off, not going to lie it was working pretty well. I start to focus on the upper part of my dick, more on my tip since it was the most sensitive. 

I shut my eyes tightly as my mouth hangs open, my knees start to feel weak. "Ah~ mm hmp~" I try to quite myself down, but fail as the flipping and turning in my tummy finally gets released. Hands slowly moving from the bottom of my dick to the top as I rode out my high.

Heavy breaths fill the room as I bring my head down to look at the mess I created, white strings of cum on my sweatshirt and my thighs. 

Letting out my last hard breath, 

°•—————•°  
♡  
•°—————°•

"I hope no one heard that.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	17. ~Sixteen~

•◇3𝕣𝕕 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟 𝕡𝕠𝕧:◇•°

Wilbur had thought about Quackity's words daily. He swore that he'd never let Fundy get involved in his mess that he created, but now it seemed impossible to counter argue. His boy, his son would grow up and never understand why his family is so fucked up.

Which is how the man in a red beanie ended up in the position he was in now, walking around his room repeatedly. 

He knew damn well he'd have to tell Fundy, but how was the question. Of course he would never show him the horrid pictures. It just terrified him. Wilbur hadn't left his room in a couple days, same clothes, a half eaten dish, and a son that was wondering where the hell he was.

But Fundy was used to this, the poor boy was used to his father disappearing for days. Then only getting a small apology. 

At this point Fundy couldn't care less. He had multiple distractions to get him through the day, talking with friends and playing video games being the main two ones. 

Phil tried to get Wilbur and Fundy to just bond like normal family. 

It was difficult.

Fundy not wanting to see his father, not wanting to here his shit excuses as to why he's been such a bad dad.

And Wilbur not wanting to have to explain the abuse hes been facing for years. 

It was too much change for the both of them, so much came crashing down at once. The annoying tic of the clock ran freely in Wilburs mind, it was a bad way of reminding him that time was running out. That the time was near. 

The tall man shut his eyes to collect his thoughts, he had been rehearsing all day what he would say to Fundy. All day he had spent thinking of what to say when his son asked why he had always been so closed off. 

Rubbing his face, he looked over to the calendar to his left. April 11, 2029 was circled in red pen, thats his court date. The day that decides it all, the day that sees if Wilbur Soot will 'get justice'. Not a day went by where the oddly tall man didn't think about the fastly approaching day, it was always on his mind. And not in a good way.

He was more than nervous to go to court, but he knew that if he won. He'd be one step closer to letting go his past, it just seemed impossible for him.

The room he occupied was messy beyond belief, dishes of half eaten food, clothes thrown around and pulls starting to build up. Wilbur would say that it was worse than Fundys room, rubbish just scattered around the flooring. The most he'd clean would be him just kicking the rubbish to a corner. 

Wilbur sighed as he stood in the middle of his room.

"Unbelievable.. I'm such a fucking mess"

His thoughts about his son soon attacked his fragile mind, he though about what he was feelings. If he was okay, if he ate. "I'm such a horrible father" he breathed after roughly taking off his beanie and ruffled his hair in attempt to look presentable. He cringed internally at how greasy his hair felt, "is this really the life I'm living?" 

The fluffy haird man shook his head and scoffed, it dawned on him how much he's procrastinated on everything. While he was stuck in his room everyday, Fundy could have needed his assistant.

Guilt filled his chest, face turning into a frown. He was becoming his father. 

Quickly he reached for his walled that was lazily laid on his dresser, his fingers ran frantically around trying to find money. $50, that's all he had. $50 fucking dollars. 

The tall man mentally slapped himself, 'money doesn't solve shit, you know this. Ice cream won't fix it.' He reminds himself.

"How could I be so fucking dumb" 

Ice cream won't fix 14 years of neglect, he knew that my heart. 

He sighed heavily and looked down, tears already starting to prick his brown eyes. "What am I going to do?" He knew he had to tell Fundy eventually, the day would come when all his lies would he revealed. The man wasn't ready. He was far from ready, Wilbur could barely get through a conversation with his lawyer. 

Wilbur glanced back at his door, then to his body length mirror.

His face pale and hair messy, obviously in need of a deep washand his eye bags more promine than ever before. His dark blue sweater was starring to get wrinkles, black pants were now more washed out. Over all he looked like rubbish, he could agree with that any day. 

To him it felt like he was repeating the same thing over and over again:   
look in the mirror, tell yourself you look like shit, and then do nothing about it. He was tried of the same bullshit. Yet the poor man didn't know what to do, go take a shower and fix your clothes?

It wasn't that simple for his head. 

Everytime he tried to change his depressive way his mind always thought of something else.

"Its worthless anyway"

"You'll just get dirty again"

"You aren't going out, why bother?"

"Laying down is better"

Thoes thoughts always came back to haunt him not matter what, even if he was having the time of his life. It always came back. He was sick of it, tired and pissed off. He wanted to change, he would. He just didn't have any motivation to even start getting better. Yet the man desperately needed an escape. 

His nails that were overdue for a clipping started to pick and scratch at the top of this hand. 

Wilbur blinked away his tears of pity. '𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝘁 𝘂𝗽' his mind yelled at him, the dumb piece of wood started to thrash around in the ocean. The once light waves started to turn dark blue, the sky that was clear now had dark grey cloud. 

The sweatered man dropped to his knees in defeat, '𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝘁 𝘂𝗽'. Hands starting to grasp his greasy brunette locks. 

His mouth now turned into a frown, saliva making it hard to cry normally. '𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝘁 𝘂𝗽', his chest started to feel tight. Hands starting to sweat and yanking on his hair, nails unwillingly beginning to dig themselves into his scalp 

'𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝘁 𝘂𝗽'

Wilbur was tired. He needed sleep, his body needed to rest peacefully and his piece of wood needed to float quietly.

'𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝘁 𝘂𝗽'

He gripped his head forcefully and slammed his skull into to ground. He just wanted to sleep, melatonin gummies never worked anyways.

'𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝘁 𝘂𝗽'

————

Wilbur stepped out the shower, hot steam revolved around the small room. 

After his whole 'im gonna bash my head into the ground', thing he had woken up and decided it was about time to take a shower. His head was still empty of ideas, seeing Fundy laugh and joke around in the kitchen made his heart warm. But it hurt that he wasn't there for him, that he was so so distant from his only son. 

His head pounded with anger. 

"It was a bad into to hit my head.." he groaned in pain as he held his head. Regret filled his body. 

To him that was the last of his worries, he rubbed his yellow towel against his head in attempt to dry his hair. He avoided reflection in the wide mirror. 

The man in the bathroom slipped on his boxers once he was dry, he put on one of his more 'fancy-but-friendly' sweater. As well as his non washed out black pants. 

It took a while for him to get motivated to open the door. Anxiety bursting through his chest as his hand rested on the yellow door knob. His finger nails rubbed together on the hand that didn't have the responsibility of opening a door.

'It shouldn't be that hard, whats wrong with me' 

The sight was pathetic, you could pity him and you probably would. His started to compress as he tried to calm himself down. The door knob becoming wet with his sweat, and he started to bite down on his tongue. "Fuck it"

His hand twisted the door knob, the door opened quite quickly and slammed against the wall with a small bang. Wilbur scrunched his face.

"Be less dramatic next time Wilbur"

Towle in hand he threw it one his bedroom floor, starting his way to Fundy. 

Wilbur turned from the hallway entering the living room, Fundy sat on the couch with his phone on his lap. It seemed like he was on FaceTime with three of his friends. He only recognized Dream and Sapnap, Wilbur brung his eyes away from his sons phone. Not wanting to disturb Fundys privacy. 

"I'll talk to you later guys.." 

He let the boys say their good byes before hanging up, continuing watching whatever was on the TV. 

"Hey Fundy!" 

"Hi" His voice was blank, not giving enough attention to his father, he kept his eyes glued to the screen. An uncomfortable silence ran around the room, the TV was silent and didn't make much noise.

"Fundy I wanted to talk to you-"

"How long as it been? How long have you spent inside your room? Now you want to talk to me, after weeks-" Wilbur sat down next to the angered boy, couch sinking in.

"Fundy I'm trying to reason with you- I just.. didn't know how to talk to you"

Fundy shook his head and paused the Netflix show. 

"Dad.." Fundy paused to think, "Wilbur you don't feel like my dad, you feel like a complete stranger" 

Wilburs eyes widen, Wilbur.. he had lost the title of dad, his son didn't see him as his dad. 

Wilbur shut his eyes and took in a shaky breath, "Son-" 

"Fundy" 

His heart broke in a million prices, un fixable. Tears pinged his eyes but Wilbur forced himself to not cry. Not infront of Fundy. 

"Fundy please, just let me explain. You'd come to understand one day maybe when you're older." 

The younger boy sighed and scooted himself to face the heartbroken man.

"Fundy your mother.. shes not- she isn't as good of a person. I'm sorry but it was a mistake meeting her, she-" Wilbur took a pause in his sentence, scrambling to compose words to match his thoughts.

"I'm not a little kid, don't try and suger coat everything"

Wilbur exhaled deeply and opened his mouth, "She would h- hit me and she was just overall not a good person, I would show you the photos n' stuff but.. I can't-" 

The tall man shut his eyes surpessing back tears of memories, he sniffled not knowing what to say next. All the words he had rehearsed for hours slipped out his head.

Fundy, oh Fundy looked so confused. A part of him needed to see the proof to understand, to fully believe what he just heard. Yet he didn't know what say in this situation, takes after his father.

His eyes grew big, "like.. hurt you, hurt you?" 

"Yes Fundy, she wouldn't let me eat and would lock me in the cl- oset" His voice broke, the dark room played live in his head. 

"..what?" 

"This has so be some, some sick fucked up joke" 

"Fundy listen, I would hav-"

"So that's why you guys always fight, always hate each other.. it was that serious?" Fundys mouth hung open in shock, all this was just dumped onto his shoulders. To him to felt like a slap in the face, lately his family was a bit fucked up. He would admit that.

But never would he have though that his father was suffering in silence.

"I know its a scary thought, but right now that isn't what you need to be worrying about. How about be go to the ice cream shop a few blocks away?"

"Wha-"

"Race you to the pavement!"

Laughter could be heard as the two males ran down the pavement, both their worries slipped away from them. In that moment their only priority was to see who would order ice cream first. 

It made Techno smile, a small one but it was a true smile. 

"Snap out of it, you have a job to get done" He put a strand on his pink long hair behind his ear. Picking back up his pen, he began to write down information in his black notebook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


End file.
